Should my child drop extracurriculars when they enter middle school? Spoiler alert: No!

What the data says about busy kids, better grades, and success in and out of the classroom

When my kids entered middle school, I started hearing the same thing from other parents: “We’re cutting the extracurriculars. The workload is just too much.” As an American expat living in Milan, with my children attending Italian school, I was new to the system. But I knew one thing: busy people get more done, not less. The parents around me were worried. The years ahead for our kids promised more homework and more academic pressure. They felt that something had to give. And for many of them, that something was the activities their kids loved.

I made a different choice. My kids kept their soccer, choir, swimming, volleyball practices, and they maintained their volunteer commitments. (I know, maybe I was a tad over the top). But my kids stayed busy, they stayed connected, and they kept achieving academically. There were moments of chaos, sure. But they figured it out. They learned to manage their time, to study effectively, and to prioritize. And they held on to the friendships and passions that made school feel like more than just a grind.

I also noticed something else. The hour they spent every afternoon running around the field, swimming laps, or harmonizing in choir wasn’t time lost from studying. It was time that helped them study better. Stepping away from the books and engaging in physical activity or creative pursuits gave their brains a chance to recharge. When they returned to their homework, they were more focused, more efficient, and more effective.

I’m not saying it was easy. But I am saying that dropping everything might not be the answer parents think it is.

And the data backs this up.

At top US universities, extracurriculars have become one of the primary ways students stand out. Admissions officers are building a community, not just a classroom, so they look at who students are as people and their activities often make the difference when academic records are similar. As one former Harvard admissions officer explained, “Academic results ‘are kind of a given’ for top institutions, so admissions officers look at who students are as a person. It really tends to be everything else that makes their application more compelling — so their extracurriculars.” (Source: Great College Advice) Harvard’s Dean of Admissions, William R. Fitzsimmons, put it this way: “We are interested in whatever a student does… substance is far more important. A student who has made the most of opportunities day-to-day during secondary school is much more likely to do so during college and beyond.” (Source: Harvard Admissions Dean, New York Times)

Here’s the thing: all the applicants have top grades and test scores. As Kunal Mehra, Country Head at Crimson Education, explains: “Amid the competitive landscape of college applications, students often face the daunting task of setting themselves apart. Enter extracurricular activities — an invaluable opportunity for aspiring individuals to carve out their distinct identity and showcase their exceptional abilities.” (Source: Crimson Education via ANI News) Data shows that students who invested more hours in fewer activities had better outcomes at elite schools than those who spread themselves thin. And in a recent study, over 70% of students admitted to their first-choice universities demonstrated sustained involvement of two to three years in a single passion or project. (Source: Save My Exams)

For students in international schools, the message is even more direct. CAS (Creativity, Activity, Service) is one of three core components of the IB Diploma. Students must demonstrate regular engagement and complete a project that challenges them to show initiative, demonstrate perseverance, and develop collaboration and problem-solving skills. (Source: IBO.org) Essentially, active participation in extracurriculars isn’t a ‘nice-to-have’, it’s a must! YCM’s High School Leadership Program was created specifically for high school students looking to fulfill their CAS commitment in a meaningful way, not just check the boxes. These talented students assist in our classrooms, help backstage in our productions, and learn critical leadership skills along the way. Many of them stay with us throughout their high school careers, not because they need the hours, but because they’ve found a community where they can grow, contribute, and make a real difference.

In Italy, extracurriculars are formally recognized in the esame di maturità. The Curriculum dello Studente, which the exam commission uses during the oral exam, includes a dedicated section for activities in sports, volunteering, music, and culture. (Source: Senato della Repubblica) Yet despite this, participation in afterschool activities in Italy drops significantly as children get older. According to Istat data, the drop is most pronounced during the transition to secondary school, exactly the moment when students could benefit most from the structure, community, and developmental opportunities that extracurriculars provide. (Source: Istat)

So what does this mean for parents?

It means that the decision to drop activities in middle school might be based on a well-intentioned but ultimately misplaced fear. Yes, the workload increases. But the research is clear: students who stay engaged in activities they care about don’t just survive. They thrive. They learn time management. They build friendships. They develop resilience. And they end up with a stronger university application, not a weaker one. The question isn’t whether there’s time. It’s whether we’re making the right choices about how that time is spent.

I’m not saying every child needs to be in five activities. But I am saying that cutting everything in the name of academic success might be a mistake.

The kids who stay engaged, whether it’s in choir, robotics, sports, or photography, are learning skills that no textbook can teach. They’re learning to manage their time, to work with others, to push through frustration, and to take pride in something they’ve built. And when they get to high school, to university applications, to the IB Diploma, they’ll have something to show for it, not just a transcript, but a story, a track record, and a community.

At YCM, we offer programs designed specifically for middle and high school students: Choir, Musical, and Videomaking & Photography. All taught in English, right here in Milan. Whether your child loves to sing, perform, or tell stories through images, they’ll find a place to grow, create, and connect.

Sign up your kiddo for a free trial lesson and see how busy kids thrive, both in and out of the classroom.

by Jennifer Finck, YCM president and creative arts director